Some thoughts:
Looking for relaxation,rhythm, contact--I am thinking differently about relaxation. Try as an extreme left brain I/orE, often has an "edge" to her that I have not thought about as tension but it is not relaxation. I think it is a dominance/type tension. It feels like a lack of "sweetness" or a separation from me.
How do I break thru this?
how do I keep from putting her here?

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